If the Lakers Were a Car …

Which Parts are the Lakers Players?

Which Parts are the Lakers Players?

We all know that Shaq once compared Kobe to a Corvette, and that Shaq himself was a brick wall (created out of his missed free throws, I would assume). We also know that Kobe countered that he was a Ferrari, not some cheap corvette.

But what if the Lakers were a car? What car would they be? I’ll leave that question to the comments, but I will take a stab at what parts of the car each individual Laker would be, and why:

Kobe – Of course, KB24 would be the V8 (his old number!), 450 Horsepower engine of the car that drives the Lakers, generating the energy and strength to get up those hills.  That engine wasn’t being put to good use in the past few years, as they were putting crap water into the engine like  Kwame Brown and Smush Parker, causing the vehicle to sputter around, which leads us to our next “part” …

Pau – Pau is the “Gasol”ine of the Lakers (I know, it’s not a part of a car, but I’m making an analogy here!) Without gas, and without the engine, you have nothing. In this case, it’s premium unleaded and once the Lakers management started putting the fuel into the car that it was intended to run on, they started moving, but you’ve got to have some more parts to get where you’re going…

Derek- Fish is the steering wheel of the Lakers, guiding it whenever they start veering into the wrong lane, with timely shots, clutch shots, and veteran savvy …

Trevor – The Cobra is the wheels, because of his quickness, and traction. When you upgrade those wheels, handling and speed improves. He also happens to wear Kobe’s signature shoes.

Luke – Walton Jr is like the oil in the car parts, because he keeps the offense lubricated and moving when it starts to get stagnant.

Lamar Odom – The gear shift of the Lakers. Sometimes he can go in reverse, and other times he’s in neutral, but when he gets into fourth and fifth gear, the Lakers sure do go!

Jordan Farmar – Turbo/ Fuel Injection, for the boost he gives the Lakers when he enters the game.

Andrew Bynum – Drew gets a more abstract “part”. He’s that part on your car that is always breaking down,  and you’ve had to fix it more than a few times.

Adam Morrison – Antenna Ball.

DJ Mbenga – The timing belt, only because he has a black belt in judo.

Sasha – The Machine is the heating and cooling system of the car.

Josh Powell – Tire jack, because he’s handy to have in case of an emergency.

Chris Mihm –  Spare tire, you only need him if you get a flat, and you don’t want to use him for too long.

Phil Jackson – Duh. He’s the driver and Tex Winter is the car manual.

Jerry Buss – Car Owner!

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One Response to “If the Lakers Were a Car …”

  1. harold Says:

    Jerry “Bus”s would dictate that we are a bus… the modern bandwagon.

    Bynum’s our windshield on good days, the wiper on bad days. On good days he blocks out all those annoying bugs when cruising at high speed, on bad days it’s just nice to have him clear out so we can at least try to maintain speed.

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